Wedding

Things they don’t tell you about planning a wedding

So it’s been a few months now but I’ve finally got around to writing a blog about my wedding. I got married in August and it was a wonderful day. I was told many times that I was a pretty chilled and relaxed bride; I never wanted to turn into a bridezilla. However, inside I did feel stressed. Buying a house and getting a mortgage at the same time as planning a wedding probably didn’t help. Here are a few things I wish I’d known or listened to when it was my turn and hopefully these tips can help someone else:

  • You can easily go overboard with the spending and I can see how people do it. Put the word wedding in front of anything and the price skyrockets. Photography is a key example of this, we went to many wedding fairs and saw photography packages where you could pay well over a grand and only get digital copies at the end of it. Having a photographer stay around after the ceremony and speeches in many cases required an extra cost. Thankfully we used Bradley Wedding Photography. Ray and Sandra were fabulous and stayed there for the whole day. You can do a wedding reasonably. Set a budget, find out if you have any friends or family that can help out. Our amazing wedding cake was made by my best friend’s mum. You’ll be amazed how many people are happy to help.
  • Weddings can bring out the best and worst in people. Some unexpected people will really step up and help you in so many ways whether that’s letting you rant about something or throw you an awesome hen party. You might even find out that some people have more opinions about your day than you. Take no notice and don’t let anyone ruin your day.
  • You’ll look forward to it being over. The planning that is. You spend so long building up to this one day that you’ll be wishing yourself on honeymoon before the wedding. Try and enjoy the planning stage as much as you can.
  • Something will go wrong. In the grand scheme of things, as long as your nearest and dearest are there and your bride or groom turns up, you will not notice what else happens. I forgot my shoes but luckily my lovely driver did a detour and we were able to pick them up. If I’d had to wear sandals walking down the aisle however, it wouldn’t have ruined the day. Unfortunately, the day goes so quickly that you don’t have time to notice everything. We’d love to go back and do it again and actually take everything in.
  • You’ll spend so long worrying about other people when you really should just focus on the two of you. It’s your day and you should do what you want. Regardless of what others say or think. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what colour your table cloth is, no-one will remember anything except what a brilliant day it was.

If you want any wedding advice from someone who’s recently done it or have any other tips, please leave a comment.

 

Ramblings, Wedding

Ireland: love for all!

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Last month, I was privileged to be invited to the wedding of my cousin to his long-term partner in Ireland. It could not have been a more wonderful time; the wedding ceremony was absolutely beautiful. For those who don’t know, my cousin Bernárd Lynch and his husband Billy Desmond have tirelessly fought for LGBT rights for many years now. He worked to help those suffering from AIDs in the 1980s and was persecuted for it. This hasn’t stopped him and he played a vital role in the passing of a number of equality laws in New York. However, through it all Bernárd has kept his strong faith against a religion that says his love is wrong. That kind of devotion is exceptional and I don’t know anyone else who can do what he does.

It was both a private and public celebration; their personal commitment to each other and the culmination of the work of many years that now meant they could legally marry in Ireland after the historic vote for same-sex marriage in 2015.

Coincidentally they were the first gay couple to marry in County Clare, where Bernárd was born, which made it an even more momentous occasion. I can honestly say I don’t think I have seen two people more in love and I challenge anyone to say that being gay is wrong.

As well as the wedding, the whole weekend was the first time I’d been back in Ireland, where my father’s parents were from, in about 14 years. It’s such a beautiful country and the people are so friendly; the stereotype says it’s the friendliest country and we really found that. It was fantastic to meet family, some of whom I’d never met and I instantly felt like I’d known them for years. We are already planning a road trip again soon.

I can wholeheartedly say that I am so proud to call them both a part of my family. I have always supported equal rights for people of all genders, races, sexuality, religion etc. but compared to the struggles and sacrifices they have made it’s nothing.  I implore people to think again when they make a judgement about a situation. Love is all that matters and I think that message has been lost somewhere along the way.

If you want to find out more about their work check out this charity they have set up to support LGBT people across Ireland.