I wasn’t sure what to write about in this week’s blog post so I thought I’d write probably the most honest blog I’ve done so far. I’m an introvert; there I said it. To those who know me well that probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise. I came across this article recently and it gave me a few things to think about.
Misconceptions about introverts I’d like to challenge:
- Introverts hate people: I have a small but amazing group of friends, family, colleagues etc. who I enjoy spending time with. However, there are certain social situations where I feel quite uneasy and uncomfortable. I sometimes go out of my way to avoid these but that does not mean I don’t want to see people
- We always want to be alone: Everyone likes their own space sometimes; a relaxing bath or catching up with your favourite TV shows. Introverts, however, can need this more than most. I saw it described somewhere as having to recharge. This is exactly how it feels; after spending a lot of time with a large group of people or even a small one, it’s nice to have time to just relax and unwind and not feel like I’m on edge.
- Introverts are control freaks: The one thing as an introvert I do hate is unexpected plans. I like to know what I’m doing and when so that I can plan my time. It’s not that I need to be in control of every situation but sometimes impromptu plans can catch me off guard.
- Introverts hate having fun: This is just not true, everyone has things they love doing and those they don’t. There have been times where I’ve made up excuses rather than just admitting to people that I don’t enjoy certain things.
- Introverts have nothing to say: I’m very rarely the first one to speak in a large group of people or in a meeting and I’m often told I’m quiet. That doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say. My mind it too full of thoughts sometimes. I just take my time and choose what to say wisely.
- We wish we were extroverts: Occasionally there are times I wish I was more confident and out-going. There are probably times it has hindered me. However, it’s who I am. I’m always told I was born in the wrong century and I’ve decided to own that now. I read Jane Austen, think Downton Abbey was one of the best things on TV, and love nothing more than a good cup of tea but I can party with the rest of them.
An honest confession
Along with being an introvert, I do believe at times I’ve experienced elements of social anxiety and it can make me feel like I don’t fit in. A classic example was my first weekend at university. I have never been a big clubber; I don’t enjoy it like the majority of people my age do. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some great nights out with friends and my husband and I love going to the club night Ultimate Power (check out my post about that here). Therefore, once I got to university I had very little experience of going ‘out’. I obviously wanted to bond with my flatmates so we all went down together to the first fresher’s night. I couldn’t even make it into the tent and just suddenly felt terrified that I knew no-one and wasn’t comfortable. Therefore I spent that evening on the phone to my now-husband in tears.
Being an introvert can feel like you’re trying to be someone else and there are times where I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. One of my biggest weaknesses is talking to strangers, I hate this and even more hating using the phone to call or answer to someone I don’t know. One of my responsibilities in a previous job was to answer the incoming phone calls and if would fill me with dread every time. Now, you probably think that’s ridiculous and I can’t really justify it. I was just always worried that I would do or say something wrong or cut the person off (something I did on numerous occasions). However, it’s not all negative.
What makes being an introvert great
- We’re great listeners: I’m proud of the fact that friends feel they can come to me with problems. I have been known to be an agony aunt and like to think I can offer advice without judging and I always keep things to myself. Introverts are empathetic and let people unload.
- We’re really imaginative and creative: I love reading and watching films that take me off somewhere else. I’ve always had an active imagination and that’s why I’ve always wanted to be a writer.
- We’re passionate and have strong moral compasses: The causes I care about, I really care about and
So my main aim with this blog post was to let all the introverts out there know they’re not alone and it’s ok to feel this way. To my friends reading this, sorry if you ever feel I haven’t wanted to spend time with you, I love you all x